admittedly, i have developed over time, difficulty, secondary to hatred, secondary to built in resistance, in listening to her entirely. ive mastered how to block my ears from her words that strike as an attack to the situation, to my person, to other people, to the universe because, quite frankly, nobody wants to hear a bitch complain. unfortunately, mastery of that bled into mastering how to block the sound of her voice altogether, which means I’ve managed to roll my eyes to pretty much every single thing she says. ironically, however, and ever so fucking coincidentally, that’s the only thing she asks of me; to listen to her and just do as she says.
the words never come together to form anything substantial in all arguments. i find it extremely difficult to spontaneously build reasonable statements that mean anything to her. how can that be possible anyway, the only person she listens to is herself. that means, no matter how poetic or congruent i appear, or how well constructed any of my statements become, they’re worth nothing to her.
it’s frustrating. it’s infuriating.
I believe this is what they mean by “it’s like talking to a wall”